Criticism V/S Praise

 

Research shows that positive questions about employees’ goals help to release dopamine, while continually pointing out what people are doing wrong makes them lose focus and shut down.

 

Daniel Goleman, the father of Emotional Intelligence, explains how criticism triggers anxiety and negative emotions. When we’re told about things that we’re doing wrong, Goleman says, it “shuts us down, puts us on the defensive, and narrows our possibilities to operate successfully.” On the flip side, when you ask employees about their dreams and how to achieve them, they open up, think creatively, and feel good.

 

Goleman notes that for his book Focus: The hidden driver of Excellence, he interviewed Richard Boyatzis, a professor and neurologist who tracked brain activity to find the best coaching practices. “Talking about your positive goals and dreams activates brain centres that open you up to new possibilities. But if you change the conversation to what you should do to fix yourself, it closes you down,” Boyatzis says in the book.

 

Boyatzis’s research found that positive interviews about goals triggered people’s reward centre and released dopamine, the chemical responsible for feeling pleasure. But negative interviews that focused on problems and criticism did the exact opposite, releasing anxiety and making the interviewees defensive and unable to focus on how to improve themselves.

 

Appraisals or performance reviews are not a time to coddle employees. They are an opportunity to provide honest feedback and encourage team members to improve in areas they are struggling. To do that effectively, there needs to be a balance of positive and negative. In Boyatzis’s words: “You need the negative focus to survive, but a positive one to thrive. You need both but in the right ratio.”

 

How do you use appraisals to help your team members improve their performance at your company? How often do you engage with your employees to allow them express their dreams and goals?

4 Leadership activities that generate maximum results

There are four leadership activities that generate maximum results. Often leaders will postpone these activities because of other priorities and yet if they were to focus on these four items as high priority they would find themselves feeling less stressed, have happier team members and enjoy greater success.

 

At this point you are probably jumping ahead in your mind to what you think the four activities are. Maybe you think its planning, prioritizing, time management, delegation and these are all important leadership activities. Believe it or not there are activities that are not typically at the forefront of most leaders’ minds because these activities do not often yield immediate results.

We invite you to consider the following activities which are not only an investment in your future but also activities that will generate maximum results.

 

#1- Daily and consistent focus on people development.

 

When leaders have people development at the forefront of their mind they tend to look at their team members with positive expectation. The leader who focuses daily on people development has a love for helping people succeed, grow and learn. Their focus on people development creates a team that is inspired by a leader who is focused on their well being.

Result- a loyal and committed team

 

#2- Regular and consistent feedback to their teams, colleagues and boss.

 

Research from a multitude of sources shows that employee motivation skyrockets when employees are consistently provided with developmental feedback. The key here is feedback not criticism and there is a difference. Effective feedback brings us back to activity #1 - people development.

 

A leader who provides feedback with a focus on helping others to improve in their abilities has a loyal team and a team willing to learn and grow. Stephen Covey stated it thus: “Leadership is communicating to people their worth and potential so clearly that they come to see it in themselves.”

Result- a team of people who are willing to take initiative.

  

#3- Reward creative ideas and innovation.

 

A leader who recognizes and rewards ideas and innovation increases the creativity among the team. In fact a great leader doesn't sweat the small mistakes that are made in search of innovation. A great leader sees all efforts towards creativity as learning opportunities. Research from the US Conference Board states that employees across the generations want the freedom to be creative in their work and to feel a sense of creative contribution.

Result- increased competitiveness within the industry and increased customer satisfaction.

 

#4- Asking themselves 'higher mind' questions on a regular basis.

What is a higher mind question? Questions like: "How can I motivate this employee to increase their output?" or "What can I do to inspire the team to higher performance with this project?" Fantastic leaders spend time on high level ‘higher mind’ questions and do not waste time on lower mind questions such as, "Why does he/she always do this? " or "Why me?"

You get the difference? Leaders who ask themselves higher mind questions have more energy and innovative ideas.

Result- increased job satisfaction, increased creativity and increased energy

  

We invite you to ask yourself where you spend most of your time. We know that many leaders spend time on other daily tasks or on putting out fires. Often these items are of low importance but are based on habit which keeps them in their comfort zone. Can you imagine what your day/week/month would look like if you were to shift your focus to the four activities above for a larger portion of your time? What other benefits would be gained? What prevents you from focusing on these four activities?

Dear Inner Child

I have known you all my life. Do you remember when we used to snuggle up in bed, dreaming of faraway places and living in a castle full of toys? I remember how we loved going away to play in the bush behind our house; we were so care-free and happy. Did we not have the best times gazing at the stars and wondering if an angel would visit us later? I remember whispering in each other’s ears and talking about our secrets. We spoke of magical beings, our laughter echoing across the riverbanks. What about the magic of Christmas, the smell of the tree, the story about the birth of baby Jesus? I can still taste the litchis and mangoes, their sweet sticky juice running down our chins and fingers.

 Oh the pain when we fell over in the school yard and how we held each other tight when other children made fun of us. Do you remember how we comforted each other on those scary days when the rain made the roof rattle and the strong wind shook the windows while lightning changed the trees into ghosts?

Then something happened. Some big people told us to stop dreaming, to stop laughing and they broke our spell. I started believing them when they said we were not so wonderful and special. I started believing them more than you. Sadness overcame me and in trying to protect you; I chose to hide you and stifle your spontaneity. Gradually your voice became softer replaced by others full of ‘reality’, warning me of dangers I did not know existed. But I missed you and every once in a while, I’d allow you to come back but our fun was short lived.

Our bond became fragile, you were angry and disappointed. You withdrew your love, I felt abandoned and hurt. Sometimes you would scream, other times you were jealous or ashamed. You desperately sought my attention but I chose to ignore you as I did not want to feel your pain.

You did not go away, you could not. You waited patiently and faithfully for us to reunite.

It’s been a long time...too long. I celebrate our coming together which feels like a homecoming. I’m so happy I want to shout and sing! I am so sorry for the lost time. I promise never to let you go again. I promise to love and protect you. We are one. You are me and I am you.

 

Bless you my inner child!

Have you experienced the zone?

Some 2,600 years ago, the ancient Greek poet Pindar wrote: “Become who you are by learning who you are.” What he meant was that you are born with a particular makeup that predisposes you to certain paths that will ultimately take you towards your destiny.

Some people, however, never become who they are meant to be as they conform to the tastes and dictates of others, and they end up wearing a mask that hides their true nature. Those of us who learn who we really are by paying attention to that voice inside and the force within us, become what we are fated to become – an individual with a definite life mission.

Many of the greatest masters in history have confessed to experiencing some kind of force or voice or sense of destiny that has guided them forward. Socrates described a voice, his daemon, which told him what to avoid. Goethe spoke about a kind of spirit that dwelled within him and compelled him to fulfill his destiny. Einstein talked of an inner voice that shaped the direction of his speculations. Leonardo da Vinci referred to some hidden force within, that drove him to become an acute observer of nature which led to his unrivalled ability to paint in such intricate detail. In 1781 Mozart left his family incurring his father’s banishment as he decided to stay in Vienna where he composed his timeless operas.

All of us are born unique, with traits marked genetically in our DNA. Our exact genetic makeup has never occurred before nor will it ever be repeated. This primal uniqueness naturally wants to assert and express itself in the course of our life. When this force is expressed fully by an individual, we refer to such a person as a genius or a master. You and I also experience this force when we feel unusually energized and focused. Our mind becomes completely absorbed in the task at hand and we get answers and solutions to problems seemingly out of nowhere, as if springing from an undefined part of us. During those moments, we enter a zone where time, pain and limitations are irrelevant, a zone of heightened creativity, of unbridled and endless possibilities with a greater command of reality and of the natural forces surrounding us. It is a time when we merge with unseen forces, a time when our internal forces forge a pact with external forces, enabling us to make rapid, creative decisions as if having access to the heart of life – to the divine. This is the time when the brilliant scientist can uncover a new law of physics; the researcher discovers the cure to a previously incurable disease. A time when the sublime artwork of a Master touches us to the core. A time when the Olympic athlete ignores the pain racking her body to keep going and cross the finish line.

We admire and applaud those people who have mastered access to the zone, that divine part within. We call them ‘Masters’. Mastery is accessible to all of us, evidenced by the fleeting episodes in our life when we successfully access the zone, that state of focus, positivity, creativity. Ralph Waldo Emerson put it thus:

“A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the luster of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.”

Steps to access the zone:

·         Be silent and go within.

·         Practice mindfulness and observe your environment.

·         Observe your feelings and your thoughts without judgement.

·         Scan your body to become aware of any physical sensations.

·         Be present in everything you do.

·         Develop the certainty that you have the answers within.

·         Know that you have a gift within that is seeking to emerge.

·         Give unconditionally.

·         Immerse yourself in literature that will inspire you towards greatness.

·         Connect with your soul, the divine part of you.

·         Repeat affirmations.

·         Let the artist and magician within you come out.

What are the paths you have used to access the zone?

Are you fulfilled and successful?

Talking to a group of parents about parenting skills last week, we asked them what would they want most for their kids and most of them replied “To be successful.” When asked about the meaning of success, they said ‘more money’, ‘good college degrees’, ‘peer recognition’, ‘more things’. Nobody spoke about values such as love, compassion, service, and character; until we probed them further.

Not surprising, as this is what our society’s description of success is about. We are inundated with such notions of success in books, magazines, films, seminars, webinars, and blogs. We are force fed stories of how to achieve success in our business and personal lives by doing more, earning more and acquiring more.  This situation has spawned an epidemic of stressed, dissatisfied people, feeling they are yet to cross the line and become successful. On whatever rung some people find themselves on the ‘ladder of success’, there is always somebody else who has one more thing or gadget.

What is this void we are desperately trying to fill?

Too many people are trying to find solutions to their problems based on an old paradigm of separation and lack. Cutting edge scientific research and results are now proving what spirituality has been professing all along: we are all connected to one another; to our bodies, to our planet and ultimately, to the universe. Nature has always given us irrefutable signs that life is abundant. We now need to transpose this fact to ourselves, to become aware that we are whole, that we are enough. Assuming our status of ‘Human Being’ and ceasing to be a ‘Human Becoming’.

Consider this: everything is energy existing at various levels of vibration. Whatever we desire already exists within us. All that is required is for each of us to tune into those frequencies and allow them to emerge or materialize. Albert Einstein said so in his famous statement “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were when we created them.”

Our planet is poised at a time when it needs people who nurture, love and trust. It needs people of character, integrity and fortitude at the helm of governments, companies, work teams and families.    We are on the frontline of a new world that requires all of us to challenge old beliefs that have been rendered useless by events and technological advents, the speed and magnitude of which have never been witnessed before in human history. Maybe we should start by accepting that there is no good or bad, but only our judgement making it so.

There is a new world emerging that requires each of us to embrace new paradigms and walk away from  old beliefs that do not serve us anymore. We must allow our authentic self to guide us so as to lift the veil of illusion that we are not enough or that some part of us is missing unless we acquire some material things. You are already complete and when you fully embrace this truth, you realize that you are fulfilled always.

The next step is to ask yourself: “How can I use my gift to serve in this emerging world?”

 

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Blind spots

Have you ever looked at a 3D picture and not been able to see it in three dimension? I remember the first time I looked at one, it took me a few moments to be able to defocus my eyes and stop using my traditional ‘2D seeing paradigm’. Can you recall a time when you were making lots of efforts towards attaining a specific goal only to find later that your mental construct of the challenge was erroneous and as soon as you altered your approach, success came easily.

We all have blind spots – they are part of the human condition. But when leaders and people in authority and power have blind spots, it matters. We all have patterns, habits, and beliefs that limit us. The challenge is that we generally can’t see how those thought-patterns and beliefs hold us back and what we can’t see tends to sabotage our efforts. Blind spots can severely impact an executive’s strategic vision, their course of action, and their rate of success. They impact decision-making and creativity (or lack thereof) in solving problems and they act to limit the strategic initiatives we are willing to consider. They even affect how we relate to others – hampering our leadership effectiveness, our political adeptness, and our executive presence.

A popular model of blind spots is known as Johari’s window, a model created by J. Luft and H. Ingram in 1955. In their model, the blind spot refers to an aspect of our personality that is not known to self but is apparent to others.  For example, others may notice that you lack eye contact when talking to people while you are completely unaware of this.  The notion of a blind spot incorporates more than a simple lack of understanding; it includes the sense that the person does not want to expand their understanding by listening to views or opinions they in some way ‘dislike’. The lack of impartiality and refusal to try to understand implies that we are biased towards accepting certain kinds of information and ‘blind’ with regards to other kinds of information.  This is not to say that we have a blind spot whenever we disagree with any idea presented to us. Blind spots only become a problem when they prevent us from adapting to changes in our environment. It doesn’t matter what our experience in life or in business has been, what our background is, our age, level of education, or intelligence. We’re all subject to blind spots. Executives, like everyone else, acquire blind spots from life, but as leaders, they suffer additional blind spots caused by their need to operate within the corporate environment.

The fact is, knowing yourself isn't as easy as it sounds.  We all have our blind spots, no matter how brilliant and accomplished we are.  Self-knowledge, at its most basic level, involves recognizing thoughts and emotions, decisions and biases, strengths and weaknesses of oneself in real time.  When executives train themselves to recognize and examine the reasons for their actions and reactions, they are better prepared to evaluate complex situations and make clear decisions. 

Make no mistake: your emotions affect others, whether you are aware of them or not.  Operating with no awareness of them is like trying to play a football match with both your shoelaces tied together.

The collapse of Barings Bank

In 1995 Nick Leeson became renowned as the person who single-handedly brought down a bank. Leeson had bought futures in the Singapore money market. Futures contracts enable you, for a cost up front, to buy or sell shares commodities or currencies at a future date for a fixed price. If, in the meantime, the market price rises above the one you fixed, you are in profit; if it goes below your fixed price, you are in loss. Leeson bought futures and for a while made profits. However, the price started to go against him and started to make huge paper losses. However, he was able to conceal this fact to many of his senior executives. Leeson, interviewed by Judith Rawnsley for her book ‘Going for broke’ claimed he got away with it for so long because his senior executives were too busy and too self-important to really focus on the issues at hand, alluring blind spots for executives. Leeson reported that he found it incredibly easy to distract his senior executives into believing a lie as he made them feel they were going to become amazingly wealthy. The alternative was uncertainty and the fear of losing their bonuses and their prestige. The Barings Bank story was a classic case of blind spots affecting an entire organization, contributing to the downfall of a company that had been trading for over a century.

Blind spots show up in our beliefs, our thoughts, and our actions. These beliefs are self-limiting and are often at odds with the goals we say we want to achieve. Our beliefs are formed – good or bad, limiting or expansive – as we develop from childhood into adulthood. We formulate these beliefs from the stories we invent as we seek to explain events. Unfortunately, we view these events through the lens of immaturity and without having all the facts. These flawed stories act to limit us and sometimes even come to define us. The key to moving past these limiting beliefs is to replace them with beliefs formed from fresh perspectives.

Leaders often fall into the trap of continuing to do what has worked in the past. They have achieved results with their vision, talents and abilities; yet these are no guarantee of continued success in the current changing workplace environment. Author and founder of The Integral Institute, Ken Wilber, says: “Today's business and world leaders are faced with unprecedented complexities and rates of change in markets and social conditions. This places extreme pressure on leaders to develop all aspects of themselves to the highest degree possible…. their cognitive, emotional, inter-personal, and ethical capacities, as well as their fundamental sense of self…. Only those who develop to this level…. will be successfully equipped to manage a profitable, sustainable growth business or effective organization.”

When it comes to our thoughts, the same thinking that got us where we are, can’t take us further. If we keep thinking in the same way, we’ll keep coming up with the same kinds of solutions. Our thinking becomes stagnant without outside stimulation. Albert Einstein famously said “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were when we created them.”  The only way to expand one’s thinking is to seek out new perspectives, which of course, comes from seeking outside input. When we get attached to the process of how we imagine attaining success, we become blind to other possibilities. And when that happens, we’re like a fly incessantly beating its wings against a pane of glass trying to reach its goal. It doesn’t matter how hard we try if we’re pursuing success in the wrong way. When we’re not willing to consider other courses of action, we limit our success. How does one distinguish between dogged determination and blindness? It usually requires input from an outside, unbiased source.

Blind spots within the corporate world arise from two sources. The first source is corporate culture – corporate culture in a general sense as well as the specific “culture” of an organization. We hold beliefs about how organizations should function, how they should be structured, and which behaviors are valued. Every organization has its own special culture – either by design or by default. And while a corporate culture can be an asset, it often acts to create blind spots with executives. The second source of executive blind spots stems from the need of leaders to achieve productivity through others. As executives, we run the risk of our thoughts and beliefs being influenced by the thoughts and beliefs of the people under our guidance.

The Evergreen project

A study of over 160 companies, between 1986 and 1996, examined what variables helped companies outperform their competitors. In reporting the research, known as “The Evergreen Project”, the authors showed that senior executives directly influence a company’s profitability not only through their technical competencies but also, if not more so, through their ability to learn and to spread learning. Successful leaders would (a) build relationships with people at all levels of the organization and inspire the rest of the management team to do the same and (b) spot opportunities before competitors and address problems before they became nightmares.

Both of these skills relate directly to a leader’s learning, accomplished by being on the front line and updating his/her living knowledge of operations and customers. The most successful leaders in ‘The Evergreen project’ spent time regularly touring sites, talking to people and absorbing information, ideas and new developments. They would then disseminate their learning throughout the company, overcoming internal rivalries and divisions, spreading learning and a willingness to seek change and innovation. A leader’s ability to recognise opportunities and address problems is directly related to their ability to confront potential blind spots.

Have a look at these common blind spots and give yourself an honest rating on each of them:

 

1.       Under-communicating strategic direction and priorities 

Priorities are never as clear as we think. In our world of hyper-information availability and constant communication, multiple sources of input drastically dilute your staff’s focus on top priorities and organizational goals. Consider it a competition for an employee’s mindshare – your company’s strategic goals versus email, day-to-day business, side projects, voicemail, family, friends and the latest local or international political upheaval.

An effective leader approaches gaining mindshare for priorities like any other advertising campaign – by increasing volume and frequency to cut through the clutter. Every meeting, every one-on-one, should start by aligning the current topic with the top priorities, creating a clear and compelling message.

 

2.       Poorly communicating expectations and objectives

 Without clear definitions of success, management and employees can be aiming for very different levels of performance, creating significant risk in the execution of strategic projects. There is nothing that sucks energy out of a team more than thinking they’ve met or exceeded key objectives, only to be told the expectations were much different.

Starting with a clear vision of a project and how it relates to overall priorities, great leaders set precise targets, timeframes and other explicit measures at the beginning. After a short duration of time, they need to check back in order to ensure alignment with that vision. This not only prevents any drift from the goals, but also allows for corrections and an ability to add resources if necessary before a small issue becomes a big one.

 

3.  Not ‘Walking the Talk’

A very common blind spot of leaders at all echelons of society is not walking the talk. This occurs when leaders are not aware of their values and behave in a mode of ‘Do what I say not what I do’.

Our behavior patterns are so unconsciously ingrained that too many leaders flout the very behaviours and values they profess will bring success to their team. There is nothing more discouraging to team members in witnessing their leader(s) saying one thing and doing another.

Self-knowledge is the basic cornerstone of success and one of the fundamental characteristics of good leaders.  Ask yourself:  What are your blind spots?  Believe me, we all have them!  How well and how often do you recognize your own array of thoughts, feelings, values, biases and emotional state?  How accurately do you assess your job performance or your relationship with different individuals?  How often do you get or are surprised by feedback on your performance?  How intuitive are you?

Breaking free of limiting thoughts and beliefs is essential for achieving the results you want; however, there are some inherent challenges in releasing blind spots. Many blind spots are so deeply ingrained within our make-up, we’re no longer aware they control us. Without outside perspective, these beliefs appear to be truths. It’s important to keep in mind that generally these limiting beliefs are YOUR truths rather than THE truth. It is critical that you identify and release the self-limiting blind spots which hold you back if real progress is to be made.  This is an area where a 360 degree feedback process, an honest look at your history of successes and failures and work with an experienced coach can be invaluable. 

Quantum Vision’s ‘Transformational Leadership’ may provide you with such a process. Contact us for details.

Do you need to forgive?

 

If you want your life to change dramatically, you need to forgive some people in your life. By holding anger for another person, you remain a victim. Make a list of all the people you feel have hurt you and start letting go by forgiving each and everyone.

Start with your parents: If you feel that your parents made some mistakes in their parenting skills, remember that they did the best they could. They gave you the gift of life. Be grateful for that. By not forgiving them, you become a dysfunctional adult keeping negative feelings alive.

Siblings and close personal relationships: Don’t waste years on anger that can affect your self-worth. Remember that you are partially responsible if the relationship did not work. By looking inward, you will start taking responsibility for how you feel.

 

Go through your list and start forgiving everyone else that has hurt you in any way. It could be at work, in business, in your social circle, at school. Hold each person in your thoughts and tell them that you forgive them and wish them well. It might be easier for some. For the difficult ones, you may repeat the process each time you think of them. Over time, you will have no negative feelings for them anymore.

 

Yourself: Set yourself free by forgiving your past mistakes. Only you can do that. And it is important to do this if you want to move forward and attract abundance in all areas of your life. Realise that when you did these things, you were not as wise as you are now. Let go of the past, affirm that you are a child of the Universe and that you are good.

 

A good affirmation is: “I forgive myself completely.”

 If you hurt someone and feel bad about it, you can always apologise, say you are sorry and move on. If someone hurt you, here are two possible actions to take:

 

1.      You write three letters. In the first one, tell the person that they have hurt you and how you feel about it. In the second, you write a response letter in which the person tells you they are sorry for what they did. In the third letter, you write back forgiving them for their action and wishing them well. When you have finished writing the three letters, tear them up and throw them away or burn them.

2.      Write the following statement 77 times for 7 days: (Don't laugh. Try it. I did and it works.)

 

·         I                        (your name) forgive                           (the person’s name) for everything.

Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. Forgiveness does not mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you and it does not minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act.

Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with your life. Forgiveness leads to healthier relationships, greater spiritual and psychological well-being, less anxiety, stress and hostility.