I have known you all my life. Do you remember when we used to snuggle up in bed, dreaming of faraway places and living in a castle full of toys? I remember how we loved going away to play in the bush behind our house; we were so care-free and happy. Did we not have the best times gazing at the stars and wondering if an angel would visit us later? I remember whispering in each other’s ears and talking about our secrets. We spoke of magical beings, our laughter echoing across the riverbanks. What about the magic of Christmas, the smell of the tree, the story about the birth of baby Jesus? I can still taste the litchis and mangoes, their sweet sticky juice running down our chins and fingers.
Oh the pain when we fell over in the school yard and how we held each other tight when other children made fun of us. Do you remember how we comforted each other on those scary days when the rain made the roof rattle and the strong wind shook the windows while lightning changed the trees into ghosts?
Then something happened. Some big people told us to stop dreaming, to stop laughing and they broke our spell. I started believing them when they said we were not so wonderful and special. I started believing them more than you. Sadness overcame me and in trying to protect you; I chose to hide you and stifle your spontaneity. Gradually your voice became softer replaced by others full of ‘reality’, warning me of dangers I did not know existed. But I missed you and every once in a while, I’d allow you to come back but our fun was short lived.
Our bond became fragile, you were angry and disappointed. You withdrew your love, I felt abandoned and hurt. Sometimes you would scream, other times you were jealous or ashamed. You desperately sought my attention but I chose to ignore you as I did not want to feel your pain.
You did not go away, you could not. You waited patiently and faithfully for us to reunite.
It’s been a long time...too long. I celebrate our coming together which feels like a homecoming. I’m so happy I want to shout and sing! I am so sorry for the lost time. I promise never to let you go again. I promise to love and protect you. We are one. You are me and I am you.
Bless you my inner child!