In one of our leadership seminars, we have a module where we facilitate a Circle of Trust. I was concerned recently to hear a manager express that there was no place for emotions in the work place. Unfortunately he is not the only one who thinks this way.
If there is one thing that we humans have in common, it is our emotions. We live with each other, we work together, we build relationships with one another. Most of our decisions are based on emotions. For example we choose our friends because we trust them or because they make us feel good. We reject the ones who do not respect or value us. Trust, feeling good or respected or valued are all emotions that affect us.
Emotions being so critical to our well being, it is imperative that we get to understand the subject a bit more.
The reason we are reluctant to delve deeper is that as children we were taught to judge our emotions and stay away from some of them.
A young boy comes home from school in tears. His mother, when finding out that he was laughed at by his friends, tells him to stop crying because boys just don't. He is also told that those kids are bad and not to play with them anymore. This young boy is now confused. Firstly, his sadness was not acknowledged by mum and above all, he wants to be able to play with his mates again.
Parents teach their children how to look after themselves physically and intellectually but rarely emotionally.
Emotions are simply Energy in Motion, neither good nor bad. Knowing how to take responsibility for our feelings can lead to a life of greatness, full of passion. No one can make us feel anything unless we give them the power to do so. Blaming someone for making you angry is not taking resposibility for the anger that you are harbouring inside. Blaming someone for your angry outburst is akin to pressing an orange and expecting to get apple juice.
Here are 4 steps to transform an emotion:
1. Acknowledge the emotion. Accept it. (I feel sad, angry etc...)
2. Don't judge the emotion, just observe it.
3. Choose to transform it by breathing into it. Visualise it on a cloud and send it away until it disappears behind you completely.
4. Decide to be aware of your reaction towards this emotion so that next time you are able to respond in a way that will give you your power back.
In the next post we will talk about beliefs.
Life is big. Stay passionate.